Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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