tell your sister to shave her snatch
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
