It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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