ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
