Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize