So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
