Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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