I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
accomplished twins. life is a go
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
