what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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