He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
