I swear she didn't look like that last week.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize