Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
