I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
