She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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