ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
