Someone shit on the floor
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
