i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
