You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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