so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
