Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
thus making me awesome and them whores
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
