Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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