Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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