just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
