I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
