Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
