Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
