the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
