She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
