not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
