1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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