Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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