I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Its about making memories worth repressing
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
