sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
