I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We were destined to go to rehab together
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
