Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
