Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
