You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
