i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I fill condoms, not promises.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
