i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
