I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dicks are not precious.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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