Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
