im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
