how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
