He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
