He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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