i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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