it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
