so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
