This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we made out on top of his cat.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
