Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
