i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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