just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My pussy is not your playground.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's shark week go big or go home
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
