dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
