you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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