please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
