how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
